Shortly after my last post, we received word from our agency saying the adoption is over. Don't know how things will play out w/ LNI b/c they do not have really any program that seems viable to us. I say this b/c I hate losing the investment we have with them. Oh well, we knew the risk going in. Please pray for all the children who now will never be adopted and the PAPs who have had their VN adoption not even being an option any longer.
We will still be moving forward with the domestic adoption. So please keep us in your thoughts and prayers for this next and new phase.
That being said, it seems silly to keep this blog going. I have enjoyed journaling about the adoption and the goings on in our life. I have started a blog on wordpress ( thethomas.wordpress.com ). I will still document our adoption it will just be more of the goings on in the Thomas family. Feel free to stop by if you can.
All those in the VN adoption world - GOOD LUCK.
Goodbye
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Our VN adoption is pretty much over
It does not look like we will be adopting from VN. I had held out hope that the gov'ts would allow us to remain logged in and resume the adoption when VN became a Hague country.
Well the word has come down in the last day or so about the fate of our dossier and the dossiers logged in w/o referrals before Sept 1. Basically, the dossier will be returned to us. They are not allowing dossiers to remain logged in. I am actually a bit surprised. I thought we had a really long wait but would be able to see it through in a few years. I have not had the time to ready the entire post but have read snippets of it on VVAI.
What has been reported from the US government as to what is going on over there is very bad. Again, bad seeds ruin it for the whole. The corruption seems to be at all levels. I will grieve the loss of this adoption, but my heart again breaks for the orphans that will remain in VN and in other countries not getting adopted. Money may not be the root of ALL evil, but it is definitely the root of this evil.
I have emailed our agency as to what to do now. We just have to trust that God leads us to our little girl or little boy.
Well the word has come down in the last day or so about the fate of our dossier and the dossiers logged in w/o referrals before Sept 1. Basically, the dossier will be returned to us. They are not allowing dossiers to remain logged in. I am actually a bit surprised. I thought we had a really long wait but would be able to see it through in a few years. I have not had the time to ready the entire post but have read snippets of it on VVAI.
What has been reported from the US government as to what is going on over there is very bad. Again, bad seeds ruin it for the whole. The corruption seems to be at all levels. I will grieve the loss of this adoption, but my heart again breaks for the orphans that will remain in VN and in other countries not getting adopted. Money may not be the root of ALL evil, but it is definitely the root of this evil.
I have emailed our agency as to what to do now. We just have to trust that God leads us to our little girl or little boy.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
When did I become "Mom"
Those of you who know Joshua will get a kick out of this one. Joshua's verbal skills leave a lot to be desired. Anyway, I am now Mom. When did 4 y/o start saying Mom and not Mommy. If I ask him what my name is, he says Mommy. But when he is calling for me in the house it is "mom." The kid kills me.
Now for some venting. We were planning on sending Joshua to a summer program at a school for kids with speech delays. I have mentioned it before on this blog. This school is a special needs school for kids w/ speech delays of average to above average intelligence. We found it and thought the program sounded perfect for Josh. He is quite smart (doing work of kinder kiddos)but is delayed in speech about 1 1/2 years. That being said, I think he has gained about six months in the past six weeks. He is making great strides. So, yesterday I get a call from the placement person at this school for the summer program. She tells me that she needs to observe Josh to see if he is a good fit for their school. I asked her what her concerns with him were. She said that his speech is too delayed for them. She did not feel he was high enough functioning. They only generally take kids with 1 year speech delay. I could not believe my ears. Kids with only 1 year speech delay do not need a special ed school IMO. I was sooooo angry and I have only gotten angrier today. Needless to say, I do not plan on sending him to that school this summer. I had considered sending him there next year if the summer went well. Whew, just saved myself $20k. We have many fun filled activities planned for him this summer. So no worries.
Now for some venting. We were planning on sending Joshua to a summer program at a school for kids with speech delays. I have mentioned it before on this blog. This school is a special needs school for kids w/ speech delays of average to above average intelligence. We found it and thought the program sounded perfect for Josh. He is quite smart (doing work of kinder kiddos)but is delayed in speech about 1 1/2 years. That being said, I think he has gained about six months in the past six weeks. He is making great strides. So, yesterday I get a call from the placement person at this school for the summer program. She tells me that she needs to observe Josh to see if he is a good fit for their school. I asked her what her concerns with him were. She said that his speech is too delayed for them. She did not feel he was high enough functioning. They only generally take kids with 1 year speech delay. I could not believe my ears. Kids with only 1 year speech delay do not need a special ed school IMO. I was sooooo angry and I have only gotten angrier today. Needless to say, I do not plan on sending him to that school this summer. I had considered sending him there next year if the summer went well. Whew, just saved myself $20k. We have many fun filled activities planned for him this summer. So no worries.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Not much going on in our neck of the woods
Absolutely nothing new in our Vietnam adoption. There was great news for a family with our agency. Amanda received a referral from Korea of a baby girl. I am very happy for her. Go check out her cute pictures. We are still on the waiting list. I am thinking that we are looking at another 2 years at least before a referral. I hope I am wrong.
As for the adoption on the domestic side, we turned in our application to Catholic Charities. I am waiting to get approval/contract. We have begun putting together our photo album together that will be presented to Birth Mothers. I wrote my "Dear Birth Mother" letter last week. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to write. I feels weird marketing yourself. Never has been a strong point of mine.
I guess I will keep updating what is going on on both fronts. Once I sign a domestic contract, I will probably change the title of the blog to reflect both adoptions.
As for the adoption on the domestic side, we turned in our application to Catholic Charities. I am waiting to get approval/contract. We have begun putting together our photo album together that will be presented to Birth Mothers. I wrote my "Dear Birth Mother" letter last week. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to write. I feels weird marketing yourself. Never has been a strong point of mine.
I guess I will keep updating what is going on on both fronts. Once I sign a domestic contract, I will probably change the title of the blog to reflect both adoptions.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Plan B
We are starting Plan B but not before I almost said enough is enough.
Let me explain--
We met with Catholic Charities about the foster to adopt and did not walk away super happy. So, I went to a bigger agency to talk about their program and left there disgusted. One of the recruiter started yelling at a potential foster parent. It was totally inappropriate and unprofessional. Catholic Charities did not look so bad. I set up expectations for people (which they usually have no idea about) and if they fall short I am done. I had been calling and emailing the recruiter for the infant adoption program at CC for a couple of weeks to no avail. In my head, I thought I would call one more time and if they did not answer or get back with me that day I was done w/ CC. I call the recruiter and she answers. It was even lunch time - was I trying to sabatoge? We set up a meeting for this past Wednesday. Even with this meeting scheduled, I was really starting to believe that we should do the foster to adopt program. I email the recruiter from that program a list on questions/concerns I wanted answered. She emailed that she would call me the next day. SHE DID. I was a bit shocked. But to my shock and horror, she said the dreaded words. "Christy, you probably want to go just the foster route and not the foster-to-adopt, b/c a judge probably will not pick you because you have a child." The recruiter said we should just foster and hope the child becomes available for adoption. The odds are not as good in this program but not unheard of. If one more person in the adoption world tells me that we won't be chosen b/c we have a child, I will punch them in the face. (Jenn, that was for your benefit.) That is part of the reason we originally chose IA. That was Tuesday night and I was DONE!!!!! I was so aggrivated I told Mitch that I guess we were only meant to have one child and adoption was off of the table. He looked at me like I was a crazy woman and told me I should at least keep the meeting on Wednesday for the infant adoption program.
Wednesday morning I head downtown to Catholic Charities, again. I really had no expectations. I met with the recruiter for the infant program. She was much more agreeable to use the paperwork we put together for VN adoption. We can use or home study :), our background checks :), reference letters :), and physicals :). So I must say this was a very productive meeting. She did not freak out when I told her we were keeping our dossier in VN. I addressed my concern about communication and impressed to her how important it is to me. Since Wed, we have communicated several times w/ questions about our paperwork. I will be bringing Catholic Charities our paperwork next week. So, this weekend we will be writing our "Dear Birthmother" letters and putting together our portfolio. I really do not want to get our hopes up but it is hard not to.
NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DID I EVER DREAM THAT WE WOULD BE IN THE PROCESS OF TWO ADOPTIONS AT ONE TIME!
Let me explain--
We met with Catholic Charities about the foster to adopt and did not walk away super happy. So, I went to a bigger agency to talk about their program and left there disgusted. One of the recruiter started yelling at a potential foster parent. It was totally inappropriate and unprofessional. Catholic Charities did not look so bad. I set up expectations for people (which they usually have no idea about) and if they fall short I am done. I had been calling and emailing the recruiter for the infant adoption program at CC for a couple of weeks to no avail. In my head, I thought I would call one more time and if they did not answer or get back with me that day I was done w/ CC. I call the recruiter and she answers. It was even lunch time - was I trying to sabatoge? We set up a meeting for this past Wednesday. Even with this meeting scheduled, I was really starting to believe that we should do the foster to adopt program. I email the recruiter from that program a list on questions/concerns I wanted answered. She emailed that she would call me the next day. SHE DID. I was a bit shocked. But to my shock and horror, she said the dreaded words. "Christy, you probably want to go just the foster route and not the foster-to-adopt, b/c a judge probably will not pick you because you have a child." The recruiter said we should just foster and hope the child becomes available for adoption. The odds are not as good in this program but not unheard of. If one more person in the adoption world tells me that we won't be chosen b/c we have a child, I will punch them in the face. (Jenn, that was for your benefit.) That is part of the reason we originally chose IA. That was Tuesday night and I was DONE!!!!! I was so aggrivated I told Mitch that I guess we were only meant to have one child and adoption was off of the table. He looked at me like I was a crazy woman and told me I should at least keep the meeting on Wednesday for the infant adoption program.
Wednesday morning I head downtown to Catholic Charities, again. I really had no expectations. I met with the recruiter for the infant program. She was much more agreeable to use the paperwork we put together for VN adoption. We can use or home study :), our background checks :), reference letters :), and physicals :). So I must say this was a very productive meeting. She did not freak out when I told her we were keeping our dossier in VN. I addressed my concern about communication and impressed to her how important it is to me. Since Wed, we have communicated several times w/ questions about our paperwork. I will be bringing Catholic Charities our paperwork next week. So, this weekend we will be writing our "Dear Birthmother" letters and putting together our portfolio. I really do not want to get our hopes up but it is hard not to.
NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS DID I EVER DREAM THAT WE WOULD BE IN THE PROCESS OF TWO ADOPTIONS AT ONE TIME!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
VN adoption story from years ago
I was at a client's house yesterday. This is a Vietnamese family that has been in the US about 15 years. As the meeting was pretty much over, they asked how the adoption was progressing. When we began the process, this individual warned me about corruption over there. I at the time assured them that the adoption would be fine. HA HA at my naivety. We I basically gave a thumbnail sketch of what is going on right now and that the adoption most likely will not happen at least for a few years.
Anyway, he told me a story from when they still lived in VN. He grew up in a small providence in Southern VN (not sure which one). One day his uncle and cousins were working in the field. A French Couple pulled their car over and looked over the family. They said they wanted to adopt one of the cousins. And they did! Can you believe that? I know I must have had a shocked look on my face b/c he explained his uncle's rational. He said he did it out of love. He knew the child would have the world at their feet whereas they would have nothing in VN. I can't even fathom making a decision like that. We also talked about the cultural issues with the US going in for the investigations. He said he has seen the US investigate things in VN. They go in with the attitude that the VN are guilty and need to prove innocence. Not the other way around. This family is pro-US, loves living here and will never move back. He was just relating what he observed in the past. Pretty heavy stuff!
Well, the first family from our agency has withdraw their dossier from VN. It is sad but totally understandable. We are going to hold out a bit longer but we shall have to see.
Anyway, he told me a story from when they still lived in VN. He grew up in a small providence in Southern VN (not sure which one). One day his uncle and cousins were working in the field. A French Couple pulled their car over and looked over the family. They said they wanted to adopt one of the cousins. And they did! Can you believe that? I know I must have had a shocked look on my face b/c he explained his uncle's rational. He said he did it out of love. He knew the child would have the world at their feet whereas they would have nothing in VN. I can't even fathom making a decision like that. We also talked about the cultural issues with the US going in for the investigations. He said he has seen the US investigate things in VN. They go in with the attitude that the VN are guilty and need to prove innocence. Not the other way around. This family is pro-US, loves living here and will never move back. He was just relating what he observed in the past. Pretty heavy stuff!
Well, the first family from our agency has withdraw their dossier from VN. It is sad but totally understandable. We are going to hold out a bit longer but we shall have to see.
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